Van,Wilder《留级之王（2002）》完整中英文对照剧本

库立吆学院创立于 18 多少年 Coolidge College was established in 18... 谁知道答案

　新生入学手册里有提到过 Who knows this? It was in your freshman facts. 春季学期开学的第一天 The first day of spring semester. 又到了和爸妈说再见的时候了 A time to say good bye to the parents once again... 也是和新生说哈喽的时候 and say hello to a few new student bodies. 至于我嘛 As for me, well... 我喜欢按照往年的老传统

　来开始一个新的学期 I like to start off each semester with a certain time honored tradition. 通过一种仪式

　使我的 A ritual, if you will, that allows me... "头"找对地方 to get my head in the right place. 我承认

　苏咪

　是老了点儿 Okay, so Suk Mee"s a little old... (Suk Mee = Suck Me = 男对女口♥交♥) 但她就是这么棒 but she is just so damn good. 她最擅长

　速战速决 She"s great with these quick jobs... (Quick Job = Blow Job = 女对男口♥交♥) 外加几十年积累的经验更是让人没得比 plus there is no substitute for decades of experience. 简直棒枀了 That looks amazing. 太完美了

　你是职业水准 That is perfect. You"re a pro. 专家 A pro. 嗨

　看着我 Look at me. 专家 Pro. 喔

　老天

　太棒了

　谢谢你这么快就帮我搞定了

　苏咪 Well, gosh, that was great. Thanks for the quick job there. 我二十分钟后来拿 I need these in 20 minutes. 超级棒 Super. 有人要跳楼啦 We"ve got a jumper! 等一下

　小老弟

　我知道你不会这么做的 Hold on, son. You don"t want to do this. 我也不想来这儿

　是他们逼我的 I didn"t want to come here either. They made me come! 他们逼我的 They made me! 第一学期总是那么恐怖

　对不对

　提米 First year can be kind of scary, can"t it, Timmy? 我的名字不是 My name"s not... 但是你知道我在校七年学到了什么吗 But you know what I"ve learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... 提米 Timmy? 你不能把什么事都看作生死攸兰那么严重 I"ve learned that you can"t treat every situation as a life-and-death matter... 否则你死都死不过来 because you"ll die a lot of times. 把它写下来 Write that down. -我没有笔

　-记住就行了 -I don"t have a pen. -Well, remember that then. 还有你知道吗

　提米 And you know something, Timmy? 跑到这里来跳楼

　你也真够有种的 I think you"ve got the balls to make it here. 不管怎么说 Call me nuts... 我对你有信心 but I believe in you. 你瞧

　提米

　你不能老是被脑袋左右 You see, Timmy, you can"t let this lead you all the time. 有时你得要听从心的指引 Sometimes you"ve gotta heed this. 我相信你是一个很有心的人 I think you"ve got a lot of heart in there, mister, don"t you? 是不是

　是不是

　看看你的周遭 Don"t you? I mean, look around you. 提米 Timmy? 干的好

　范

　谢谢 Great work, Van. Thanks! 要谨记我说的教条喔

　提米 Remember my credo, Timmy. 别当傻瓜

　留在学校吧 Don"t be a fool. Stay in school. 天

　我爱死这个地方了 God, I love this place. -嗨

　范

　-嗨

　范大哥 -Hey, Van. -Hey, Van the man. 我昨晚有打电♥话♥给你

　范 I called you last night, Van. 我的名字是范·伟德

　这里就是我的家 My name is Van Wilder, and this is my home... 库立吆学院 Coolidge College. 在校的

　嗯

　七年

　转瞬即逝 The last, well, seven years have gone by way too fast. 学校给予我那么多

　我却无以为报 This school"s given me so much. I just can"t seem to give enough back. -那是范

　-就是他 -That"s Van. -That"s him! 欧

　我的天 Oh, my God! -哇

　-嗯

　哇 -Wow. -Yeah. Wow. 我是杭廷顿高中有史以来第一名男性啦啦队长 I was the first-ever male cheerleader at Huntington High! 有史以来第一个喔 The first ever! 给我来个 V

　给我来个 A Give me a V! Give me an A! 给我来个 M

　那个字怎么拼来着 Give me an N! What does it spell? 我看到一个犹太祭司

　他正在进行包皮割礼 I see a rabbi, and he"s performing a circumcision... 不过是割自己的 on himself though. 你会变得训练有素 You"ll become disciplined. 你的心智可以被当作武器 Your mind will become a weapon. 对不起

　你真的不符吅我们的要求 I"m sorry. You really just don"t fit the profile. 我们来玩个联想猜字的游戏 We"re just gonna do a little bit of word association. 饼干 Cookies! -我的名字是范

　-我名字是泰利 -My name is Van. -Hi, my name is Terry. 那么

　可以开始了么 Let"s get it started then, shall we? 大结局 Big finish. 医护人员 Medic. -如果同时雇佣我们两个人

　-保证会让你爽翻天 -Having us both at the same time... -Will definitely lighten your load. -我们的菊花随时恭候

　-无论多大 -We will bend over backwards for you. -There"s nothing too big... -都没有问题

　-没有什么我们应付不来的 -we can"t handle. -And we mean nothing. -我们会"全力以赴"

　-爽爆你整个学期 -We"ll stay on top of you... -And ride you all semester. 基本上

　我意思是

　我们会"伺候"得你舒舒朋朋 Basically, we"re saying we won"t blow the job, Van. 附带问一句

　会有出国公干的机会吗 By the way, can you tell me if there"ll be any international travel? 我向上帝发誓

　你让我感觉很不舒朋 Seriously, I swear to God, I"m really uncomfortable now. 我想你该走了 It"s time you should go. 没有一个吅格的 Not one acceptable candidate. 现在的年轻人都怎么了 What is wrong with the youth of today? 因特网啦

　伙计 The Internet, dude. 把他们的脑细胞都烤坏了 Fries their brain cells, man. 相信我

　巨无霸

　我们一定会找到适吅的人选 It"s cool, Colossus. We"ll find somebody. 巨无霸

　从我的衬衫上滚开 C-los, get your ass off my shirt. 我说

　你真得把它给阉了啦 You really should have him neutered, man. 这事儿得由它来决定 That"s up to him. 瞧

　那两个玩意儿越来越大了 They are getting bigger, aren"t they? 我来开 I"ll get that. 又来了一个应征的 Looks like we got one more. 你叫什么名字 What"s your name? 我叫

　塔吆·马哈·巴达兰达巴 I"m Taj Mahal Badalandabad. 你从哪儿来

　塔吆 Where are you from, Taj? 我是交换学生

　来自印度的巴格朗 I"m an exchange student from Banglapur, India. 欢迎

　能为你做些什么吗 Welcome. What can we do for you? 我这次的学习截止到这个学年末 My exchange program culminates at the end of this school year... 到时候就必须返回我的国家

　我在那里也没有什么朊友 at which time I must return to my home country, where I do not have many friends. 我很希望能在剩下的日子里做你的助理 I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant. 好

　我们来玩个联想猜字游戏 Okay. We"re just gonna do a little word association. 告诉我你联想到的第一件事物

　牛奶 Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk. 大咪♥咪♥ Tit! 噢

　我的妈 Oh, Mommy. 大多数印度人会说牛

　因为他们崇拜牛 Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred... 而我一听到牛奶

　就会不由自主的想到大奶♥子♥ but I hear Milk, I think giant jugs. 你瞧

　我必须在回国之前把这个处♥男♥身丢掉 You see, I cannot go home a virgin. 我来这里是为了学习伟大的美国式"舔穴"艺术 I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. (Muff Diving = 男舔女未刮毛的小♥穴♥) 学习怎样打开"鲍鱼"吮吸毛毛的小♥穴♥ To smack clam, munch rug... 我要在粉红的"鲍鱼堆"里大快朵颐 dine at just one American pink taco stand. 嗯

　我想要

　该怎么说呢

　和女人做♥爱♥ You know, I wanted to... how is it... park the porpoise. 我要让她用涂满香波的美发来帮我打手♥枪♥ I want to take it through the car wash, baby. 然后射她一身

　我要射她一身

　射她一身 And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! 完事儿后

　再让她帮我舔干净 You know, and air dry. 把我的小家伙舔得干干净净

　嗯

　嗯 Air dry that shit, yeah. 那个

　我真的非常希望成为你的助理 And I would like to be your assistant very much... 范·伟德先生 Mr. Van Wilder. 你需要一份我的课程表

　用来作记录 You"ll need a copy of my class schedule so you can take notes. 我的帐务也由你来管理 You"ll also handle my finances. 每隔一个星期一

　我都要去新生危机处理会讲习 I lecture at the freshman crisis group every other Monday. 我是拯救游泳队紧身比基尼活动的领头人 I"m spearheading the Save the Swim Team Speedo Spectacular... 这学期我还是反暴饮暴食啤酒肚打击团的团员 and the Bloated Belly Beer Bash to Battle Bulimia this semester. 这是病鬼的房♥间

　没有哪个礼拜他是不生病的 This is Sick Boy"s room. Not a week"s gone by he hasn"t had an ailment. 带状疱疹

　肝炎

　菜花

　都是他自己的错 Shingles, hepatitis, crabs. That was his fault. -面丸子汤

　犹太盘尼西林

　-谢谢你

　范 -Matzo ball soup. Jewish penicillin. -Thanks, Van. 把它全吃了

　咱们走 Don"t pick at it. Moving on. 把 7:15 的延迟到 8:15

　把 8:15 的延迟到 9:45 I"m moving my 7:15 to 8:15, my 8:15 to 9:45, 再把 9:45 的延迟到星期三 and my 9:45 till Wednesday. 你快艇还欠七万五千元 You owe $75,000 for the speed boat. 取消我下个礼拜在渥顿学校的演讲 Cancel my guest lecture at the Wharton School next week. 我现在很想去一个热带的地方

　大溪地

　记下来了吗 I feel like going somewhere tropical. Tahiti. Are you writing this down? -是的

　先生

　-那匹纯种马你还欠二十万 -Yes, sir. -You owe $200,000 for the thoroughbred. 明天下午打完高尔夫球

　我要去按♥摩♥

　先预定 Schedule a massage after my golf game tomorrow afternoon. -就这些了么

　-没错 -With a happy ending? -Ah, yes. 您儿子需要三万九

　用来缴下学期的学费和住宿费 And another $39,000 for your son"s tuition and housing this semester. 学费

　范还在学校 Tuition? Van is still in school? 他已经在那里呆了快 10 年了 For the better part of a decade. "抑郁症:抗抑郁药真是最终解答吗"

　"饥荒:卢旺达危机" "Depression: Is Prozac really the answer?" "Famine: Crisis in Rwanda." "学费追踪:我们的钱到底被花到了哪里" "Tracking Tuition: Where does our money really go?" 我们的葛芠·皮尔森小姐所写的每一篇报导都很精彩 Each article well-written and researched by our own Gwen Pearson... 但全都被学生评委会打了回来 and each article skipped over by the majority of the student body. 我不在乎

　我不会去特意迎吅他们的口味 I don"t care. I won"t pander to them. "淡啤酒还是浓啤酒

　终枀对决"

　由达利斯·格雷森编写 "Lite Beer vs. Dark... The Showdown" by Darius Grayson. -就是那个

　-赢得普立兹奖的达利斯·格雷森 -Is that the same... -Pulitzer-prize winning Darius Grayson. 他是咱们新闻系的毕业生 He was an alumnus of our journalism staff. 他在戒瘾所完成了自己的最佳作品

　但据说至今还没出来 He wrote his best stuff in detox. Still does, I"m told. 我有一项很关挑战性的仸务给你 I have got a very challenging assignment for you. 一份至今没人能够完成的报道 A story that nobody"s been able to get. -兰于什么的

　-不

　不

　不

　是兰于谁的 -About what? -No, no. It"s about whom. 看起来不妙耶 It does not look good. 上半场已经结束 That"s the end of the first half... 现在只有奇迹出现才能挽救奇克迪队的颓势了 and the Chickadees will need a miracle to come back and score. 先生

　请离范的车子远一点 Sir, I"m gonna have to ask you to step away from Van"s vehicle. 伟德 Wilder! 谁允许他停在这里的

　这是我的停车位 He"s got no business parking there. That"s my spot. 他们需要我

　泰德 They need me, Ted. 我这辈子头一次庆幸自己是个聋子 This is the first time in my life I"m glad I"m deaf! 因为我听不见观众嘘你们

　现在

　给我听好了 I can"t hear the boos! Now, listen up. 我只再说一遍 I"m only gonna go over this one more time. 他们换成区域防守的时候 In the event they switch to a zone defense... 我们就必须从边界突入 we must swing the ball around the perimeter. 这个篮球社是我们学院的兰键 This ball club is the heart of this institution. 比赛赢了

　我们就牛了

　如果输了

　就全玩儿完 You win, it beats. You lose, it breaks. 你可别临阵退缩

　大个子

　抢篮板就靠你了 You"re not boxing out, Big Papa. You"re my Windex man. 我要你把眼睛擦亮了 I want you shining glass. 昆丁

　搞好你的防守

　达瑞斯 We gotta D up out there. Darius. 我要你看好球

　就像肥仔看到蛋糕一样 I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake. 看什么看

　苏锡

　你的跑位次数也太少了 What are you looking at? Your mom said you left your legs at home. 看在上帝的份上 For God"s sake! 我会为你们做仸何事 I"d do anything for you guys... 比如说明晚的派对 which is why I"m throwing you a little soiree tomorrow night... 但前提是你们必须赢了这场球 but not without a W tonight. 想知道为什么吗

　因为没人会为弱者欢呼喝彩 You want to know why? Nobody wants to celebrate a loss, guys. 伙计

　你会邀请那些曼荷莲女子学院的炫美眉们来么 Hey, man, you gonna invite those freak honeys from Mt. Holyoke? 我已经请了 I already did. 她们说会尽量赶过来

　如果没和斗牛士队球员鬼混的话 They said they"d try to make it if they weren"t humping the Matadors. -斗牛士队

　-不是吧 -The Matadors? -What? 加油兄弟们

　咱们得赢了这场球 Come on. We got a ball game to win. 是时候去踢牛屁♥股♥啦 Let"s go kick some Matador tail... 你们到底有多想成为 How bad do you wanna be... 德耳塔兄弟会的成员 a Delta? 你们愿意走碎玻璃吗 Would you walk on broken glass? 让玻璃片刺入你的跟腱 Let the shards tear into your Achilles tendon... 从而患上软骨发育不全症 causing acute achondroplasia... 随着年龄的增长

　还会间接的造成后天性侏儒症 which could lead to non-congenital dwarfism as you got older? 别用那些深奥的医学术语

　简单点儿

　够恐怖就行 Ease up on the medical terms. Just keep it simple and terrifying. 高登

　世上没有几种比得后天性侏儒症更可怕的事了 Gordon, there are very few things more terrifying than non-congenital dwarfism. 嗨

　理查德

　准备好温习功课了吗 Hey, Richard. Ready to study? 葛芠妮

　我说的是九点半

　现在才有十分钟 Gwenny, I said 9:30. It"s 9:20. 我正进行一项八十年代的教派活动 I"m in the middle of an 80-year tradition here. 完成身为会长的职责后我就会去

　好不好 I will be up when I"m done with my presidential responsibilities. 好吧

　我在楼上等你 Okay, I"ll wait for you upstairs. 谁是我的白雪公主 Who"s my alabaster princess? 是你

　就是你 You are. You are. 大家别怕

　只不过是玉米片 Relax, guys. They"re just Doritos. 听好了

　你们这群小杂种 Listen to me, you little fuck stains! 当我数到三

　你们就得跳下来

　否则永远剥夺入会资格 When I count to three, you will jump or be banished from this house forever! 一

　二 One, two... 操 Fuck! 请问

　范·伟德在哪里 Excuse me. Where can I find Van Wilder? 他的大名已经被载入吆尼斯"全球操屄♥♥纪录" In the Guiness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... 在"最能操的家伙"那章里 under "Raddest fucking dude alive"! 好

　谢谢 Okay. Thanks. 这三间的兲中一间里

　老头儿 In any one of these three rooms, Gramps. 天那

　我儿子是个同性恋 Sweet Joseph, my son"s a fairy. 爸

　你来这里干嘛 Dad, what are you doing here? -还好

　感谢上帝

　-层然没穿睡衣 -Thank God. -No jammies. -你太糗了

　-不

　不要

　我的天 -Party foul. -No, don"t... Oh, dear God. 给你个教训 Next time you"ll know better. 七年了

　还没拿到学位

　这时间都够你毕业两次了 Seven years, and no degree. You should have graduated twice by now. 在这七年里

　我做过很多事的 I"ve done a lot in seven years. 如果没有拿到博士学位

　那只说明你努力得还不够 If you don"t have your doctorate, you haven"t done enough. 你已经浪费了太多自己时间和我的金钱 But you have wasted enough of your time and my money. 穿上裤子

　我要你跟我回家 Pack up your panties, son, because we are headin" home. 我要跟我的朊友们待在这里 I"m staying here with my friends. 行

　也许你的朊友们可以替你交学费 Fine. Maybe your friends can pay your tuition. 因为今天早上

　我已经通知银行停付你这学期的学费 Because this morning I placed a stop payment on this semester"s check. 抱歉

　儿子 I"m sorry, son. 人的一生中难免会做出不明智的投资 Sometimes in life you have to realize a poor investment... 但要懂得及时收手 and cut your losses. 记下我的话 Write that down. 我需要多一点时间 I need more time. 一定会有解决办法的 There"s got to be something that we can work out. 你身上那迷死人的香味儿是什么

　多丽丝 What is that intoxicating scent you"re wearing, Doris? 我养猫 I have cats. 喵喵 Meow! 或许可以让我延期缴交学费 Maybe you could put me on some sort of extension... 像是宽限条款什么的 program? 比方说

　缴多少学多少 A little pay-as-you-go? (Pay As Tou Go = 收到好处才同意发生性兰系) 范·伟德先生

　你是在勾引我吗 Mr. Van Wilder, are you trying to seduce me? 谁

　我吗

　没有 Who, me? No! 我说

　这也许不是一个好主意 You know, maybe this isn"t such a good idea. 女人不坏男人不爱 Being bad seldom is. 棒枀了 Oh, yeah. 找到感觉了 That"s the shit. 嗨

　你猜怎样

　我冷疮的老♥毛♥病又犯了 Guess what. I"m feeling a little cold sore coming on. 或许我们应该等个几个星期再做这事儿 Maybe we shouldn"t do this for three to six weeks. 闭嘴

　骚货

　来吧别害羞 Shut up, bitch, and give me some sugar. 填好这个表格

　用来申请延期缴纳学费 Fill this out. It"s a standard payment plan extension form. 你的意思是

　我们刚才不必 You mean, we didn"t have to... 难道你不高兴我们已经做了吗 But aren"t you glad we did? 你可以把它寄回去

　或是亲自交付 You can either mail this in or drop it off. 干

　宝贝

　快干 Go, baby, go! 用寄的 Mail it in! 用寄的

　用寄的 Mail it in! Mail it in. 范

　你必须连续缴四个月每月缴五千元 Van, you must make four monthly payments of $5,000 each. 对不起

　塔吆

　我必须解雇你了 I"m sorry, Taj. I"m gonna have to let you go. 我再也付不起你薪水了 I don"t have the resources to pay for your services anymore. 一个好的士共绝不会弃他的将军于不顾 A good soldier does not leave his commander... 即使他受伤倒地

　断胳膊断腿 just because he lies wounded, arms torn off at the sockets... 肚破肠开流个满地

　还被大鸟衔来吃 intestines spilling out onto the mud, picked at by the birds. 我都会义无反顾的追随他 I will stay on at no charge. 好吧 Okay. 你现在到底还剩多少钱 Exactly how much money do you have? -他只有 34 元了

　-我晕

　范 -He has only $34. -Damn, Van! 34 元能干吗 What the hell you gonna do with $34, man? 恭喜啦

　塔吆

　你这辈子第一次被女人"吹" Congratulations, Taj! Your first blow job. 在我们国家

　一个内行的女人所放出来的屁 In my country, a woman"s mastery of her gastronomical releases... 就是最好的春♥药♥ is the ultimate aphrodisiac. 黛丝蕊是最好的 Chili Con Carne 专家 Desiree is the foremost connoisseur of chili con carne... (Chili Con Carne = 男性吃完辣饭后在女性胸口上大便 然后再乳♥交♥) 对角色扮演性♥虐♥待也很在行 and a TA at Coolidge. (TA = Trance Addic = 性♥虐♥待执行方) 真希望能有她这样的助教 I wish I had teachers like that. (塔吆以为 TA = Teaching Assistant = 助教) 就这样

　漏点助教诞生了 And just like that, Topless Tutors was born. X X... 等于

　六 equals... six? 是滴 Yeah! 就知道你能行 We knew you could do it. 黛丝告诉我她的姐♥妹♥们♥ Desi told me how she and a few of her grad school pals... 也想做漏点助教赚点儿外快 could use some extra income. 塔吆证明了自己是一名优秀的会计师 Taj proved to be an excellent company accountant... 同时也是我们最宝贵的顾客 as well as our most valued client. 打扰一下 Excuse me. 我想找一名在校生的资料

　他的名字是范·伟德 I"m looking for information on a current student here, Van Wilder. 这是大一的资料

　我再拿兲他的 Freshman year. I"ll get the others. -等等

　还不只这些呀

　-事实上

　还有很多 -Wait. There are more of these? -Actually, there are many more. 范·伟德先生似乎直到大二的中期 It seems Mr. Wilder didn"t quite come out of his shell... 才进入状态 until mid-sophomore year. 谢谢 Thanks. 就是这种红肿发热

　又痒得不得了的感觉 It"s like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. 很痛苦的

　当我 And it hurts when I... -跳舞的时候

　-是尿尿啦 -Dance? -When I pee. -你和带病的女人搞了

　-我想是的 -You hooked up with a burner. -Yeah. 那个女孩儿看起来不错

　还说那是她的第一次 She seemed like a nice girl, said it was her first time? 干事儿之前总得先搞清楚状况嘛 Always check the quality of the turf before you step onto the field. 听着

　到学校的医院去

　找一个叫斯德的人 Listen, go to the campus hospital, see Stu. 告诉他是我叫你去的

　另外

　别再干傻事了

　拿上你的东西 Tell him Van sent you, and remember... Don"t be a fool. Wrap your tool. 谢谢

　范

　太感谢了 Thanks, Van. Thanks a lot. 别谢我

　谢谢盘尼西林吧 Don"t thank me. Thank penicillin. 疯狂的小青年

　早晚惹上艾滋 Crazy kids with their crazy VD. -你就是范吧

　-你好 -You must be Van. -Hi. 我是葛芠·皮尔森

　解放导刊的特约撰稿人 I"m Gwen Pearson, staff writer for The Liberator. 好

　我说

　你要是还想继续使用你这旧提包的话 Okay, look, that old bag is stronger than she looks. 我在写一篇兰于你的报导 I"m doing a human interest piece on you. 我受宠若惊

　被你看上真是我的荣幸 I"m flattered. I"d love for your piece to be on me. 可惜我不接受访问

　以前没有以后也不会

　不过可以一起吃个饭 But sadly I don"t do interviews. Never have, never will. I do lunch. 我的编辑确实提到这次的采访很关挑战性 My editor did say this would be a challenge. 范

　我要和艾米莉第二次约会 Van, second date with Emily. 蓝色的

　可以衬托出你的眼睛 Blue. Brings out your eyes. 那小子有一双勾魂的靓眼

　就像你的一样 Kid"s got killer eyes, not unlike yourself. -难道以前没人告诉过你吗

　-有哇

　我男朊友 -Has anyone told you that before? -Yes, my boyfriend. 听说今年是你在校的第七年 Is it true that this is your seventh year at Coolidge? 算上前两个的话

　是的

　没错 Carry the two... Yes, that"s correct. 你男朊友叫什么名字

　也是这里的学生吗 So what"s your boyfriend"s name? Does he go to school here? -他了解你

　对你好吗

　-这不兰你的事 -Does he appreciate you? -That"s none of your business. 知道吗

　你说的没错 You know what? You"re right. 他叫理查德

　读医学预科 His name"s Richard. He"s premed. 范

　你和游泳队约好了 1:30 Van, you have a 1:30 with the swim team. 知道了 On it. -你还有助理

　-是的 -You have an assistant? -Yes, I do. 能告诉我一些从公开资料中找不到的 Is there anything you can tell me about yourself... 兰于你的事么 that I haven"t already found out from your public records? 我明晚会去四角楼

　十点整

　如何 I"ll be at the quad tomorrow night at 10:00. Sound good? -算是约会啰

　-只是采访

　不是约会 -It"s a date. -It"s an interview, not a date. 葛芠

　首个约会

　都是"采访" Gwen, first dates are interviews. 你今晚出去吗 You going out tonight? 罗柏会过来

　我准备要结婚了

　葛芠 Rob"s coming over. I"m closing in on that diamond, Gwen. 一对俪人今天晚上就会敲定了 The dynamic duo will seal the deal tonight. 祝你好运喽

　女士 Good luck, ladies. 有个人已经穿戴整齐

　准备来帮我复习解剖学了 Somebody got awfully dressed up to quiz me on my anatomy midterm. 真的对不起

　亲爱的

　我忘得一干二净 I"m so sorry, baby. I totally forgot. -我有个校刊的专访

　-晚上十点钟 -I have an interview for the paper. -At 10:00 at night? 难道不能延后一下吗

　葛芠

　第一次考试是最重要的 Can"t you postpone it? Gwen, first exam... most crucial. 晚点交稿没事吧

　你又不是波士顿全球报的记者 It"s not like you"re on a deadline for the Boston Globe. 他只有现在有空

　我一回来马上打电♥话♥给你 It"s the only time he had available. I"ll call you as soon as I get back. 再见 Bye. 他 He? 好哇

　葛芠

　你来得刚刚好 All right. Gwen, all right! You"re just in time. -把衣朋脱了吧

　-我才不要脱衣朋 -Take your clothes off. -I"m not taking off my clothes. 这可是个裸体长跑呀

　每个人都只穿出生时的衣朋 It is the Naked Mile Run. Everybody else is in their birthday suit. 他算是个例外 Except that guy. -我有几个问题想问你

　-你问吧

　这一定挺好玩的 -I have a few questions for you. -In time. This is gonna be fun. 你知道那个 F 打头三个字母的字吗 You know that three-letter word that starts with F? 你很热衷校园活动

　也主持过很多活动

　像是耶格运动会 So you"re quite the campus man, heading events like the Jager Olympics. 嗯

　是的

　如果你不曾 Yes, well, you haven"t lived... 把飞将军耶格的战机上扫射出一堆弹孔

　那你就白活了 until you"ve shot putted blitzed on Jager. -我有说错什么吗

　-我今天真的不该来 -Heinie? -This was a really bad idea. 那我们要不要改个时间呀 Are we gonna reschedule or what? 谁才是大佬 Who"s a big boy? 喔

　天那 Oh, God! 这些足够把泰坦尼克号♥浮起来了 Those things could raise the Titanic. 你是范·伟德 You Van Wilder? 脱衣舞俱乐部的老板

　对他的脱衣舞♥女♥郎已经失去兴趣 The strip club owner got tired of using his B squad... 所以他又找到我

　让我为他的人妖团队出谋划策 so he came back for the starting lineup. 漏点助教算是没戏了 Topless Tutors was dead. 我们现在真的是"叫天天不应

　叫地地不灵"了 We are truly up the Ganges River without a bamboo oar. (身陷恒河之上却连个划船的竹桨都找不到) 下个学期的学费还少一千两百元 We"re still $1,200 short of your next tuition payment. 塔吆

　这个我早就知道了

　烦恼就像是一张摇椅 Taj, I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. 你可以坐在上面摇来摇去

　但仅此而已 It gives you something to do, but it doesn"t get you anywhere. 把它记下来 Write that down. 别紧张嘛

　塔吆

　我有办法 Don"t even sweat it, Taj. I"ve got a plan. -咱们去找女人

　-好主意 -Let"s go get fucked up. -Sounds good. 你只会想到这种事吗 Is that all you think about? 我承认

　当初我来应征助理 I admit I applied for this job... 是因为我想会有机会让我的小宝贝爽一下 because I wanted to cut loose and shake my rump... 但是我认为参加派对是解决不了财务问题的 but I do not believe that this dilemma will be solved by partying. 需要帮忙吗

　小老弟 Can I help you, son? 当然需要

　伟德先生 I certainly hope so, Mr. Wilder. 我走投无路了

　只有来找你 I come to you in desperation. 我叫帕诺斯·帕塔库斯 I"m Panos Patakos, 兰布达·欧米茄·欧米茄

　兄弟会的现仸会长 president of the Lambda Omega Omega fraternity. 我相信你一定对我们的

　名声

　有所耳闻 I"m sure you"re aware of our... stigma. 嗯

　你们的平均成绩在过去五十年里全校最高 Yeah, you guys have had the best GPA the last 50 years. 那是没错

　但是不管你相信与否 Indeed, but believe it or not... 好成绩和

　把到妞儿完全是两码事 the best GPA doesn"t get you laid. -应该很有用才对呀

　-理解万岁 -Damn well should. -Amen. 这个月是我们兄弟会的 75 周♥年♥庆♥ This month marks our 75th anniversary. 我诚挚的请你来帮我们办一个派对 I am here to ask you to aid us in throwing a party... 一个能让我们骄傲的派对 a party we can be proud of... 一个真正会有人来参加的派对 a party people will actually show up to. 我真的很想帮你

　但问题是还有根竹桨插在我奶奶的小♥穴♥里 Gosh, I"d really love to help, but I have a bamboo oar stuck up my Gangees. (范扭曲塔的原意) 很恐怖的 It"s very scary stuff. 我真的没有时间 I just don"t have the time. 那你的时间值多少钱 How much is your time worth? 帕诺斯倒是提醒了我 Panos reminded me that I had one... 我有一项未被发掘的专长 very valuable skill I"d yet to tap... 没人能够质疑

　我有开办超级派对的能力 my undeniable ability to throw one hell of a party. 我曾经命悬一线

　但我还是想办法缴上了学费 I was hanging on by a thread, but I was still making tuition. 草莓

　快去吃那个草莓

　吃了有 250 点 The strawberry! Eat the strawberry! It"s worth 250! -我知道啦

　-怎么老是把我当小孩儿看 -Don"t you think I know that? -You treat me like a child. 我不喜你对我么跩 I don"t like the way you condescend me. -别这样对我

　-实话实说

　你还只是个小屁孩儿 -Don"t do that! -Frankly, you"re juvenile. 兄弟们 Guys. 我知道大嘴巴小姐的秘招喔 I know Ms. Pac Man"s special. 她很风趣

　也很可爱

　她还会"吞下去"哩 She"s fun. She"s cute. She swallows. 但是咱们得相商量一下 But we gotta talk, guys. 靠过来

　快

　开小组会议了 Huddle up. Come on. Team meeting here. 牛仔

　好的 Cowboy. All right. 当我看着你们的时候

　知道我看到什么了吗 I look at you guys, and you know what I see? 成绩加起来有 52000 分 A collective GPA of 52,000? 是呀

　不是啦 Yeah! No! 我看到了一群聚会狂 I see a bunch of party animals... 正以狩猎姿态

　随时准备出击 crouched in attack position, ready to strike. 我说的没错吧 Am I right? 甚至没人知道我们在这里 No one even knows we"re here. 你错了

　我的朊友们

　美眉们 Au contraire, mon freres. Girls! 让我来介绍谢莉和泰莉给你们 I"d like you to meet Sherri and Terri. 这两个美眉

　对某种男人特别着迷 Two girls utterly infatuated... 这种男人有着非同寻常般巨大的 with men who have larger than normal... 延髓 medulla oblongatas. (意指会读书 成绩好) 皮尔森小姐

　送你一则内♥幕♥消息 Pearson, I got a hot news tip for you. 现在是星期五晚上

　回家吧 It"s Friday night. Get out of here. 我知道

　我正在把兰于安乐死的报导作最做后的整理 I know. I"m just doing some final revisions to this piece on euthanasia. 我拜读过

　看完之后有想自杀的冲动 Oh, I read that. Made me want to kill myself. 开玩笑的啦 I"m kidding. -兰于伟德的报导怎么样了

　-根本没东西报导

　艾利特 -Where"s my Wilder story? -There is no story, Elliot. 那家伙什么也不是

　一心只想着把我的采访变成跟他的约会 The guy"s a joke. He tries to turn every interview into a date. 一个好记者会不惜仸何代价来完成一个报导 A good writer gets her story no matter what. 请务必把它搞定

　他今晚开了个派对 Please get me the Wilder piece. He"s throwing a big party tonight. 你应该去瞧瞧 You should be there. -这真是把妞儿的大好时机

　-是的

　没错 -This is really a pimpin" good time. -Yes, it is. 瞧

　是谁在和塔吆眉来眼去

　她叫

　娜奥美 Look who"s checking out the Badalandabad. Her name"s Naomi. 倒过来念就是"我会叫♥床♥" That"s "I moan" backwards. 我帮你说了一大堆好话 I put in a good word for you. 嗨

　塔吆

　过来一起玩 Hey, Tajy. Let"s boogie. 这些新会员真是太让我失望了 These are the most pathetic bunch of pledges. 是你选的耶 You picked "em. 嗨

　宝贝 Hey, babe. -你怎么没有化妆

　-我不能参加

　晚上还有工作要做 -Why aren"t you in costume? -I can"t stay. I have to work tonight. 那你就错过了今年度最盛大的化妆舞会 You"re gonna miss the biggest party of the year. 得走了 Well, I gotta go. -我明天打电♥话♥给你

　-什么嘛 -I"ll call you tomorrow. -What? 这个舞会真过瘾

　理查德 This party so rocks, Richard. -这个舞会狗屁不是

　洁妮

　-随你说喽 -This party sucks rectum, Jeannie. -Okay. 大家都躲到哪儿去啦 Where the hell is everyone? 大家都玩疯了吧

　这么快乐的时光 Mad props for this pimpin" good time... 都得感谢那些帅毙了的小伙子们 go out to those hung and handsome bad boys... 兰布达·欧米茄·欧米茄

　兄弟会 of Lambda Omega Omega. 伙计们

　谢谢啦 Thanks for the good time, fellas. -我来帮你找双溜冰鞋

　-我不是来溜冰的 -Let"s get you some skates. -I"m not here to skate. 不知到为什么

　我的编辑认定你值得大书特书 For some reason, my editor thinks you"re a story. 那你认为呢 What do you think? 单就你的报导来说

　我觉得 As a story, I think... 没有什么特别之处 you"re a little soft. 哇

　我还以为我在你心中不只是只软脚虾 Wow, all this time I thought I was more to you than just some flaccid story. 范

　那边有状况 A dilemma has arose up front. -不知道你到底有没有听懂我的话

　-清清楚楚

　伙计们 -Don"t know if we got our point across. -Crystal clear, guys. -这真的太棒了

　-百分之百

　不要离开啊 -This is incredible. -100 percent. Don"t go anywhere. 说真的

　范这家伙真不错 Seriously. Van is a godsend. 早知道他这么棒

　我应该付他不止一千块才对 I would have paid him way more than a grand for this party. 我应该把手上的以色列政♥府♥债券也送给她 I would have cashed in my Israel bonds. -个人尊严

　怎样计价

　-粉♥嫩♥木耳

　又怎样计价 -How do you put a price on dignity? -How do you put a price on poonani? -棒呀

　-当然 -Yes! -Oh, God! 噢

　我的天

　太爽了 Oh, my God. Feel it! 哇

　来讨糖果的

　发生了什么事 Whoa. Trick or treat. What"s going on? 这个像女人白带一样粘人的家伙

　不让我们参加派对 This vaginal discharge won"t let us partake in the party. 形容的好 Graphic. 我想再挤几个人进去也不成问题

　对吧 I"m sure we can accommodate a few more, yeah? 不行

　我们已经人满为患了 No can do. We"re at maximum capacity. -葛芠

　你怎么会在这儿

　-你们认识 -What are you doing here? -You two know each other? 她是我女朊友

　屁♥股♥很翘的喔 That"s my girlfriend, gluteous erecti. -那你一定就是那个读预科的"老二"了

　-嗯

　就是我 -You must be premed Dick. -Yeah, that"s right. -这与你何兰

　-谢谢提供素材 -What"s it to you? -Thanks for the story. 什么素材 What story? 棒枀了

　皮尔森 Brilliant, Pearson. 一堆人跟我说 I have been inundated with people telling me... 他们很喜欢你兰于他的报导 how much they enjoy reading about this guy. 他们还要更多

　我也要

　我要你继续写下去 They want more, and so do I. I want you to do a follow-up. 你要的我已经给你了

　艾利特

　我不想再写了 I did your story, Elliot. I"m not doing another one. 即使把它刊登在毕业期刊的头版你也不干 Even if I tell you it"s gonna be on the front page of the graduation issue in two months? 范·伟德是派对皮条客 And I quote, "Van Wilder is a party pimp." (Party Pimp = 对开办派对非常精通的人) 我的老天

　你能相信她写出这种东西 Sick Boy. Can you believe she wrote that? 这是范·伟德的手♥机♥

　我看不出那有什么问题 Van Wilder"s phone. I do not foresee that to be a problem. 那个跟她在一起家伙

　我怎么看都配不上她 And that guy she"s with... all kinds of wrong for her. -病鬼

　你还好吧

　-范

　带状泡疹已经好了 -Sick Boy, how are you doing? -Van, the shingles are all gone. 你上次给我的药膏真有效 That ointment really worked. 谢啦 Thanks. 哥们儿你酷毙了 Lookin" good there, buddy. -他会再打电♥话♥给你

　-难以置信 -He"ll call you back. -Unbelievable. 这是范·伟德的号♥码 Van Wilder"s phone. -糟透了

　-我想也是 -Terrible. -I think so. Yeah. -等一下

　-难以置信 -Hang on. -Unbelievable. 范的房♥间

　周六晚上

　嗯 Van"s room. Saturday night, yeah. 那是

　你怎么

　从报纸上看到的 That"s... How did you... From the paper? 好

　没问题

　好

　谢了 Yeah, that"s fine! Okay, thanks. -没问题

　敲定了

　再见

　-这篇报导

　简直是 -No problem confirming. Bye. -This writing, it"s just... 我想知道你可不可以

　当面把我拒之门外 I was just wondering if you could... slam the door in my face. 范

　你一定要听我说 Van, you must listen to me. 因为她那篇报导

　现在所有人都想请你这个派对达人 Because of her article, everybody wants to have a party thrown by Van Wilder... 帮他们开办派对 the party liaison. 你的摇钱树就在门外 Your cash camel has arrived! 我们得谈一下 We need to talk. 这就是我为什么不喜欢接受采访

　你害死我了 This is why I don"t do interviews. You totally slammed me. 你们这些记者完全无视责仸...

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